Joanna Newsom

So today I found myself wasting some of my daughter's naptime on randomly perusing the internet for completely useless relationship status reports on the stars. And by that, I mean I was trying to figure out if Zachary Quinto is gay.

After the inconclusiveness of the speculative reports bored me (that took all of about 3 minutes), I decided to look up who Andy Samberg was dating because he's a star I've thus far failed to google. All signs pointed to Joanna Newsom, though again I didn't spend much time looking before I got bored.

In any case, in one chat forum, someone posted something to the effect that Joanna Newsom is brilliant and the best musician to ever live, forever and ever amen.

So I looked her up. She's pretty. She is a truly wonderful harpist. I respect some of her lyrics.

Her voice makes me want to shoot myself in the head with a nailgun.

I concede that beauty may be in the eye (or ear) of the beholder. But as far as this beholder is concerned, Joanna Newsom should start making bank off selling her lyrics to someone with the voice to make them tolerable to more than just a few select "brilliant minds."

That is all.