Epic Metal Review, Part 4

The Devin Townsend Band - Hyperdrive (off the Addicted album, with Anneke Van Giesbergen on vocals)

I like her voice a lot. It's extremely clean in tone. I get the feeling she could be successful singing in a variety of genres.

The lyrics are so so. But the song itself is entertaining to listen to and the synthesized, techno-ish elements to it make it fun to get into. I don't feel tired of listening to it, like I do most metal (and techno for that matter), in which I feel like it's just an incessant driving explosive sound that isn't really going anywhere. This song has more dynamics, and I appreciate that.

Kalmah - Holy Symphony of War

I like the lead/solo guitarist on this. There's some decently tricky picking and syncopated rhythm work going on there.

The lead singer is terrible. His growling doesn't really scare me so much as make me want to give him Theraflu...and if it's possible to be "off pitch" while death growling, I think that's how I'd describe him. His voice is very inconsistent, without seeming versatile. Worst of both worlds. :( And the chorus line behind him isn't that great either.

"I sing, you sing, we all sing Holy Symphony War!" Really? I didn't hear any singing. A lot of loud talking, though.

Killswitch Engage: My Curse

I really enjoy the lead voice, but something about it makes him sound like Rick Astley doing metal. But not in a corny way. It's just the rounded, spoon-like quality of his voice and the way in which he projects it. It's hard to explain what I mean by spoon-like, but it's like his mouth and throat are a ladle, slowly and steadily pouring out the sound, rather than a trumpet, or a dynamite blast, etc. So there's something calming about the music, even if it's metal, and emotional, and frustrated.

I love the slow, wistful refrain at the beginning. There's something poetic in the music, simple as it is. And the sudden pick up in beat isn't awkward or explosively jolting like some metal I've heard. The transition between the two tempos is somewhat abrupt, but clean at the same time. Definitely not like every song out there. It seems to pull from classical and even jazz music that switches meter over and over throughout the song, making it more of a ride than just a listening experience.

This was a ride I'd go on again, for sure.

Bleeding Through: Anti-Hero & Love Lost in a Hale of Gunfire

I'm sorry, but literally nothing stuck out to me about this band, except for perhaps their showmanship in their videos. Which makes me think they'd be great showmen live. They are obviously passionate and high energy. Other redeeming qualities of this band include a good looking lead singer, and a chick on keyboard. But I didn't find them very musically unique.

Sorry, Bleeding Through, but to quote your song: "I've heard enough of you."

Volbeat: Sad Man's Tongue

I wasn't sure I was listening to the right song at first. But I was. This song makes me happy. It's extremely high energy without being deafening or exhausting. If you enjoy Johnny Cash's music, but like me, sometimes find it drags, this is the perfect cure for that. The lead singer's higher notes are alright, but his bass notes are gorgeous. And the accent makes it extra fun. I think this song's definitely worth a listen, even for those who aren't really into metal.

More Danish metal tributes to Johnny Cash are in order, I think. :-)

Phor the PHAT man ;)

Dark Tranquillity - Terminus (Where Death Is Most Alive)

I am not the least bit intimidated by this. I suppose that's a good thing?

I'd be more impressed if the band members could instantly switch their faces between "skull" and yellow in real life.

I am slightly confused about why the singer is growling into a sink pipe.

Also, how are the guitars making sound without strings?

And how did the owner of these talented Legos ever get any sleep with them practicing this stuff in the toy box?

"Everybody Loves Duck Sauce"

Well, all you "Gleeks" out there, I'm sorry to say that the mall dance to Barbra Streisand doesn't begin to compare to the official music video for the song. The actual song doesn't begin to compare to the music video for the song.

For those who don't know, Duck Sauce is a collaboration between A-Trak and Armand Van Helden. Armand has put several tracks at #1 in the UK, and A-Trak has won a ridiculous number of DJ/turntablist competitions and titles.

Anyway, their big hit right now is Barbra Streisand. Personally, the first time I heard the song, it was just the track sans video, and I found it moderately to extremely annoying.

BUT, I have gained a new love for it. Why?

Because I watched the official music video, and saw the people who were involved in it. It made all the difference to see Ahmir "Questlove" Thompson, Pharrell, Kanye, DJ Premier, Chromeo (which makes sense since one of the members is A-Trak's older brother), Ezra Koenig from Vampire Weekend, Santigold, Biz Markie (well, sort of)...and even just the people on the street. This collaborative video takes a song that is borderline unbearable on its own, and makes it fun and dynamic and entertaining. Sometimes the difference between mediocrity and brilliance is WHO you allow to dip their toes in your song.

The other thing I love about this is that the members of Duck Sauce also play around with the song a second time. Not only is the scratching at 1:54-2:08 by Preem (DJ Premier) impressive, but the beat juggling by A-Trak himself at 2:42-2:56 makes it nearly impossible to keep your heart rate steady. Both moments of variation were WAY MORE AWESOME than the song just playing all by itself.

So watch this video. If for no other reason, then just because it's good fun.

Oh, and just for kicks, here's a Duck Sauce song recommended by my friend, that I actually like a lot more. Mostly because, as my friend mentioned, it'd be really fun to Hustle to. And no I don't mean scamming, I mean dancing.

Epic Metal Review, Part 3

To begin, I have an addendum to my review of Opeth in Epic Music Review, Part 1. Apparently the growler and the soft singer are the same person? To that, all I can say is HOLY GUMDROPS! (No, I didn't want to say gumdrops there but my mother might be reading this). ;) It also answers my quandry about what growlers would sound like if they used their "normal" (again, yes, I know how subjective that term is) singing voice. I am so thoroughly impressed.

Alright, on to more music.

Avenged Sevenfold: Blinded in Chains

Who does this singer remind me of? I can't decide.

Hang on.

Never mind. I'm sick of trying to think of it. He definitely isn't a bad singer, but something about his voice makes me think he's a really sweet teddy bear of a guy when he's not on stage or in studio. There is a certain tenderness to his voice that can't be veiled. It's almost like he's putting on the act of being angry and homicidal and generally having a bug up is butt. I imagine he pets multiple puppies after every recording session and then just lays in the grass and enjoys the shapes in the clouds.

I really enjoy some of the harmonies in this song, especially in the second half.

I like the fact the drumming sounds almost like legitimate gunfire in this case. Not just the rhythm, but something about either the drums being used or the technique the drummer is employing. I was struck by it from the beginning. No pun intended.

Amon Amarth: Twilight of the Thunder God

How could I pass up a title like this?

Well I really dig the lyrics and the story that's being told. I'm obviously getting better at discerning words in the midst of all the growling.

Though, I'm sorry, I have a bit of a hard time taking the singer seriously. There's a cartoonish quality to his voice, like it's been messed with and synthesized to sound like that. On one hand, that means I should be MORE impressed with him because he manages to sound unnatural, naturally. But I still have trouble taking him seriously.

Savatage: Hall of the Mountain King

There is a cranky dwarf or elf or hobbit wandering confusedly through a forest that is distracting me from whatever is happening in my ears currently. Wait! That is not your treasure, little dwarf! Didn't you ever watch Aladdin? Either the Mountain King, or the cave itself, is about to smite you.

All dwarf antics aside, this song is generally delightful to listen to. The singer's voice and stylization is more than just melodic. It's engaging. Which makes me buy into the concept that his story is an epic one, and should be listened to. Both the general repeating rhythm guitar section and the lead guitar shredding are really impressive without overpowering the singer as the star. And in this case, because he is a storyteller and not just a feelings-teller, I feel it's alright for the spotlight to be on him.

Apocalyptica: Hall of the Mountain King

Um...this is absolutely incredible! Metal cellists? REALLY? How did no one recommend them to me, knowing what a giant nerd I am and how much I love when genres cross-contaminate each other?

I grant that not every song done by them is as impressive. But literally the only bad thing I can say about this particular video is that several of the band members look terrifyingly thin and that makes me want to force feed them cake.

http://youtu.be/zf2aIVKp1OY

Warlock: All We Are

The song was not as epic as the hair. I respect the fact these bands probably paved the way for much of the metal that exists today. But the song itself didn't do as much for me. But that's because a lot of 80's music is lost on me, no matter what the genre. Still, glad to be able to claim I have listened to Warlock, because it makes me feel slightly more well-rounded.

Flotsam and Jetsam: Saturday Night's Alright for Fighting

This would be really fun to play on guitar hero. In general, the song has a high entertainment value, and definitely gives a badass edge to Elton's music. Not that I'm claiming Elton's not badass in his own right.

I feel a lot of passion and energy in this song, beyond the loud volume or explosive drumming or hammering guitar progressions. I just feel amped up when I listen to it, because I feel the musicians were amped up playing it.

The Chainheart Machine: Soilwork

Well I REALLY like the first 9 seconds... and 1:01-1:07... and 2:25-2:40 was also really awesome.

The catch beats and syncopation are really great in this song. And I actually really dig the general "melody" of it. So basically, I loved everything but the singing, which I absolutely detested.

After parts 1 and 2 of my Epic Metal Review, if anyone says they're surprised by that, I reserve the right to call them a "liar liar pants on fire."

Alright, that's all I can do for now, I have to review something else. So there will be a Part 4, which, among other things, will feature some last minute recommendations from my good buddy D-Bake, because there's almost nothing I wouldn't do for that guy.

Tony DeSare!

I just discovered this guy today while listening to the "Singers & Swing" channel on my expanded cable. It's my favorite of the music stations, because yes, classic jazz just does it for me in a way nothing else can.

Anyway, I digress. This was the song I heard that first turned me on to him.

Listening to this song is like getting a bunch of sweet, flutterby kisses on your neck while having your arms and shoulders gently rubbed and sweet promises whispered in your ear.

And dare I say it, I like his voice better than Michael Buble's (which says a lot because I LOVES me some Buble).

Also, the video below proves Mr. DeSare isn't made up of just a sultry voice and some gentle jazz piano chords. He can do some pretty decent damage on the ivory.

Epic Metal Review, Part 2

Okay, for round two of my metal review, I am settling in with a bowl of raspberries and what's left of my box of chocolates. Mmmm... dessert and death metal. This should be delightful.

Emperor: A Fine Day To Die

This started out with a very haunting Sleepy Hollowish sound, which I was not necessarily expecting from metal. But as my friend Ryan pointed out, metal is varied, and this apparently falls under the category of "black metal." I'd be lying if I said I knew what that meant, exactly, but at the very least I now know there is such a thing. And knowing's half the battle. G-I-JOOOOE!

Once my heartbeat reset from the initial shock of the explosive sound coming in (hospitals should replace their paddles with this kind of stuff)...

[Hang on...creamy truffle break. Not in the song. In my mouth.]

...I found myself headbanging unwittingly. As I am sitting down currently, it was more of an aggressive head nod, but the point is the music made me move around. I find the general driving melody behind this song to be very enjoyable. And the drummer very obviously knows exactly which rhythm complements my desire to head bang to the guitar refrain. It didn't feel like "every other metal song" (not that I'm saying I'm an authority on what that means).

I know I know I know. "WHAAAAT? Multiple musicians on different instruments playing cohesively together? It's like they're in a band or something!" Shut up. Not all bands work as well together as this one on this song.

Also, surprisingly, the singer didn't bug me. I don't know whether I'm just becoming increasingly immune to growling and screeching, or if his was just not as offensive, but either way, I was able to stop trying to listen to the words and just try to feel the passion behind the general sound he was making. And when the guitar shredding came in around 6:45 of the song, I ended up really appreciating how similar the sound was to the singer's voice. It matched him not only in pitch, but in intensity. And that contributed to my overall "enjoyment" of this song.

Vader: Out of the Deep

Random thought: I am starting to wonder what metal would sound like if it were driven more by major chords than minor. Okay, back to this song.

I'm about to show the full extent of my dorkiness:

This song makes me think of tap dancing (consider that a dare, Devon). The fact is, if I could watch a dancer create the same exact rhythms I'm hearing on the drums in this song, I'd be in awe. So I guess that means I'm kind of in awe of the drummer, doesn't it?

At least I can understand this singer. He may be growling, but he's enunciating. That's all I'm asking for, people! I don't know if I can so much relate to the lyrics, on most days anyway. But I am thrilled to pieces that I can understand them.

The Faceless: An Autopsy

Is that a synthesizer? I feel like I'm listening to a metal song, remastered with the MIDI version of itself. This song makes me simultaneously want to rip something open with my bare hands, and play Super Mario. Especially around 2:25 of the song, I just have mental images of the band members punching blocks and garnering coins while shredding and growling in between.

And that makes me laugh, which makes me happy, which means this song is okay in my book.

Though to give a more honest "music" review, I was genuinely impressed with the speed and versatility of the guitar riffing in this song (I suppose the general theme I'm picking up is that metal guitar soloists are really talented and probably have wicked calluses).

Austrian Death Machine: Get to the Choppa

I thought this was kind of meh. I thought with the premise of mimicking Ah-nold that it'd be wittier, but it wasn't nearly as amusing as I thought it'd be. Though I'm not sure wit and Ah-nold go hand in hand anyway. Point is, this song didn't really impress me.

Lacuna Coil: Heaven's a Lie

First female vocalist I've reviewed in my metal spree thus far. And a pretty one at that. Her voice sounds a lot like Madonna's, actually. But I like her voice better than Madonna's, by a hair, I think. And even the slightly growlier male backing vocal is still melodic, which is refreshing. It wasn't my favorite song ever, but it wasn't bad.

Halestorm: Love/Hate Heartbreak

Okay, I know I said I didn't want to review them, but I couldn't help myself when it came to this song. Because I really like this song. The words got to me the very first time I heard it, even with their repetitiveness. And not only is lead singer Lzzy Hale hot, but I absolutely LOVE her voice. I want her voice. I want to give her voice roses so it knows how special it is. The way she can throw so much power behind it, and then make it so pillow soft a split second later... it's magic. If I were more of a rock singer, hers is the voice I'd aspire to match. Her and Emma Pew from Black Carl.

Astral Doors: In Rock We Trust

I feel like this is the singer people mimic when people create fake metal bands and spoof bands. The whole Ronnie James Dio thing (may he rest in peace). He's got a great tonality overall, though. And I would definitely listen to this song again, especially given how easy and fun the chorus is to sing along to.

Nocturnal Rites: Still Alive

Oh my gosh I love this guy's voice. Right off the bat. Probably a sign I've been trained by 6 years of being told to appreciate 80's hair metal, because he kind of has that quality to his voice.

Good call, Tony. I really really really like this song. I'm enjoying listening to it so much that I've kind of lost focus on reviewing it. So rather than offering some sagacity on the musicality or whatever, I will just say I simply enjoyed this song, start to finish. It's going on my list of things to buy on iTunes next time I bother to go shopping on it.

Alright, that's 8 more songs, with 8 more to go, so expect one more installment of my Epic Metal Review (probably tomorrow or the next day or the next day).

Mastodon: Cut You Up With A Linoleum Knife

This is in my list of top 20 most awesome and/or hilarious things I've ever watched. WHY is this not played at every movie theater in the U.S.? I doubt anyone will be able to answer that question to my satisfaction.

I heart Mr. Brady for telling me I had to expose myself to this. It was a good call.

Oh, and the singing is actually really good in spots, too. The upper notes are really lucid. There, I said something about the musicality. Bippity boppity music review.

Now on to the awesomeness.

Just For Kenny

Barry Manilow: Mandy

Did not know this song was released in the UK as "Brandy" three years before Barry released it in the U.S. as Mandy. Why did he change the name? Was he afraid of being misconstrued as a Senor Drunkopants? Maybe it's because the song "Brandy (You're A Fine Girl)" was was popular two years prior. These are the useless things I contemplate and/or research while blogging.

This song doesn't really do anything for me, mostly because my name is not Mandy. It's got that cliche 70's easy listening sound that I don't hate but don't really like either.

All I can think of is the Family Guy episode in which Barry Manilow sang this song to Quagmire.

"I would never take from you, Barry."

No, but really, I wouldn't. You're only one step above Rod Stewart on my "wrinkly, not sexy, but still respectable old men" list.

Epic Metal Review Part 1

I just stepped out of the shower, so I could be clean and fresh for my metal music review. As I was getting dressed, I legitimately found myself wondering, "What does one wear to properly listen to metal?" I ultimately decided on an adorable if not slightly skimpy sun dress, because I figured it was the best juxtaposition my closet had to offer to what I was about to hear. That and I got tired of looking through my wardrobe. And it was clean.

I'm doing these reviews in parts because I want to give each song recommended, it's due time.

In Flames: December Flower

I want to say there was something brilliant about the lyrics of this song, but the only words I heard were "December" "We are In Flames" and "RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR." And I listened to it twice. Right off the bat this brings up my quandry with the metal genre. So many bands employ the stereotypical belchy-roar singing style, making it impossible for me to understand what they're saying. On purpose. Why? Why don't you want your words to be heard? It makes me worry they're not very good. Not that I would know. Because I didn't understand any of them. So is that it? You're avoiding lyrical critique by avoiding lyrical comprehension? Well played, metal music... well played. ;)

My general issue with the screamy, growly, belchy style of singing is that I am a singer, with vocal training and such. And that style is SO BAD for your vocal cords. To me, hearing that is the equivalent of a blues musician watching someone take a limited edition Les Paul and smash it to pieces just for funsies. Sure, there's a certain entertainment value and showmanship to it. But all I can keep thinking is "WHY?! WHY would you DO THAT to your instrument?!"

Having that out of the way, let me go on to say that in this particular song, the lead singer's voice is either impressive or vexing in its ability to be extremely high pitched and extremely low and growly at the same time. Maybe it's unintentional and his voice just exudes overtones better than some.

The bridge shredding on the lead guitar was pretty good. But I've heard better.

The drumming was good if not, again, stereotypical "metal" drumming.

Metallica: The Unforgiven

I don't know if I would classify Metallica as metal so much as rock, but I have generally liked a lot of their songs.

On this song in particular, I feel like James Hetfield did a fantastic job on the sections where his voice went soft and gentle. Not just because it sounded pretty, but because he applies the emotion, vulnerability, and clarity of his message to his voice itself. But in the sections where he's singing more "angrily," I feel like he got lazy. I didn't feel it. At all. And that made me sad.

The guitar solo about 2/3 of the way through the song was good. I mean, it's not the MOST dextrous guitar playing I've witnessed, but it was decently high up on the list. And more than that, I honestly felt like the guitar was screaming forth with the same pain as the words of the song. I appreciate when musicians make instruments speak emotions for themselves.

Opeth: Bleak

Oh my face! What an emotional rollercoaster ride this song was for me.

Throughout the first 40 seconds of the song, my jaw was on my chest and I was thinking "I LOVE THIS!" Then a singer started belching into the mic and I got super depressed. So in the last 20 minutes of working on this metal review, it's clear I still don't like growly singing that forces me to look up the lyrics in print on a separate website.

But I'm glad I did because this line is awesome:

Break of morning, coldness lingers on

Shroud me into nightmares of the sun

Then I hit 3:30 of the song and there's actual singing. Beautiful singing. I mean it. BEAUTIFUL. It's haunting and it's sad and it's wistful and it's tender and without being loud it's so powerful.

Musically, this song is beyond a home run. All the instrumental components were just seamless and about as close to perfection as music gets. I am starting to understand why so many people I respect, love Opeth.

Children of Bodom: Are You Dead Yet

Um...how do people drum that fast?! The rest I kind of tuned out. Sorry.

Alesana: What Goes Around

OH GOD! This song is an unfortunate triple whammy of bad for me. This is probably my least favorite Justin Timberlake song. Then this song's vocals combine the annoying screaming style, with the even more annoying whiny emo singing style. Ugh. I am getting physically ill trying to stick this one out. I want to punch the emo singer in the balls to toughen him up, and I want to punch the shrieking harpy in the background in the throat to shut him up.

I decided to listen to 3 more Alesana songs just to see if I could give them a chance. I also watched a video of a live stage performance of theirs just to see if that would redeem them in my eyes. All they managed to do was come across as immense toolbags.

Sad. I wanted to like them because I really sincerely like the person who recommended them. But I can't. :(

GodSmack: Awake

They are good. Just metal enough not to be Metallica. But I can actually understand them, and appreciate their lyrics. That makes me genuinely happy. This song was a nice note to end this edition of my metal review on. It didn't hit me in the chest in a big way or anything, but I liked it enough to not turn it off if it came on the radio.

Korpiklaani: Vodka

Aaaahahahahahahaha! How much fun is this song?! Let me tell you. Ridiculously fun. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with just calling it like you see it. "Drinking's good for you." Sure! Why the hell not?! And as a final comment to the bad-ass-itude of this song, they fully integrate the accordion (and the accordionist is really good, too) into metal. I literally could not have asked anything more of this song. :-)

7 down, 16 to go. All I can say is I better be AMAZING at Guitar Hero: Warriors of Rock after all this.

"It blew my heart away!"

I'm going to start by saying I feel REALLY behind the curve, because this kid was on America's Got Talent in 2009, and the video below is from approximately 5 years ago. But I chose it because the interview is the cutest thing I've ever seen.

They won't let me embed this video, so you'll have to use the link. It's worth it. He's adorable, and prodigally talented. His tiny fingers are able to do things on guitar most adults can't do.

http://youtu.be/UGTfDf4b5oE

Tallan Latz, you blow MY heart away.