Shredding?

I am posting the two following videos because I seem to have been functioning under the false assumption that "shredding" required the musician doing so to be super passionate and amped up and thrashy. Lots of hair tossing and guitar waving and "o-faces" mixed with angry faces.

The first video, by "Jacqueline" shows a decent amount of dexterity (certainly better than I could ever hope to do), but she looks so bored while she's playing her music. I had trouble getting into it simply because I had trouble believing SHE was into it.

Now, the second video is by Meghan the Metal Queen, and she is playing a classic by Dethklok, and doing a damn fine job of it as far as I can tell. But she's sitting down. And in this case, I dig it. I figure it takes a lot of badassery to be that calm while shredding so epically.

Anyway, I guess I learned something new today. I will do my best to apply this lesson to my life somehow in the future.

Joanna Newsom

So today I found myself wasting some of my daughter's naptime on randomly perusing the internet for completely useless relationship status reports on the stars. And by that, I mean I was trying to figure out if Zachary Quinto is gay.

After the inconclusiveness of the speculative reports bored me (that took all of about 3 minutes), I decided to look up who Andy Samberg was dating because he's a star I've thus far failed to google. All signs pointed to Joanna Newsom, though again I didn't spend much time looking before I got bored.

In any case, in one chat forum, someone posted something to the effect that Joanna Newsom is brilliant and the best musician to ever live, forever and ever amen.

So I looked her up. She's pretty. She is a truly wonderful harpist. I respect some of her lyrics.

Her voice makes me want to shoot myself in the head with a nailgun.

I concede that beauty may be in the eye (or ear) of the beholder. But as far as this beholder is concerned, Joanna Newsom should start making bank off selling her lyrics to someone with the voice to make them tolerable to more than just a few select "brilliant minds."

That is all.

The Temper Trap

Lead singer Dougy Mandagi's voice is clean and clear enough in the baritone/tenor register to have me sufficiently impressed. Definitely unique, his voice manages to be completely crisp and completely edgy at the same time. I dig it.

But on their song "Sweet Disposition," he takes it to a whole new level of hauntingly beautiful. He gets my major respect points for the day.

Hot Chelle Rae

This stuff is relatively mindless, and sadly indistinct. But it's a heck of a lot of fun to listen to, so I'm rolling with it for today. And all four band members are definitely not unattractive, so that kinda helps. Shallow isn't always bad.

Best use of the phrase, "shat on the fan." Ever.

PLATINUM HIT

Hey all!

Check out Johnny Marnell in Bravo's new reality show Platinum Hit. He's awesome, and if he's the standard of competition they've brought onto the show, the other artists are going to be pretty damn talented too. I plan to be "hooked."

(yup, just a little music humor there)

http://www.nbcumv.com/mediavillage/networks/bravo/platinumhit/biographies?bio=contents/biographies/Talent%20Bios/Bravo/PlatinumHit/1Marnell_Johnny.xml

The Ke$ha Syndrome

Rebecca Black.

People are treating her like her "success" is such an unfounded anomaly. But the fact of the matter is, she isn't anything new or unique.

Her superflop/superhit "Friday" is only proof that people with semi-decent voices will often opt to use a nasal, bratty sounding, talk-speak style of singing instead of actually engaging their diaphragm, paying attention to their own lung capacity and the correct ways to use it, etc.

IT'S SUCH A SHAME!

At about 2:52 of that song, she starts singing some background vocals. Typical "oooooh yeaaah," "whooooaaa" type stuff. In what I'd call a mezzo-soprano range. And she sounds GOOD (I'd not go so far as to say "great" but good)! So where the heck was that voice for the first 2 minutes and 51 seconds of that awful song?!?!

It's not an awful song because she sucks at singing. It's an awful song because she chooses NOT to sing. That, and the lyrics border on being unforgivably bad, though that is probably a selling point for a lot of pop music these days. It's obvious the girl's a bit tone deaf (most people are to some degree or another), as is evidenced by her performance of The Star Spangled Banner on a TV news interview. But if she gets some training and learns how to use proper singing techniques to make up for what she lacks in raw talent, she could actually manage to be tolerable as far as pop culture standards go.

But she need to use her mezzo singing voice, instead of talking "melodically" through her nostrils. She needs to overcome her Ke$ha Syndrome.

Though I think it's obvious why, I will explain that I choose this name because Ke$ha is one of those big pop artists doing exactly the same thing and making people believe it's music. Ke$ha is not talented. Her producers are. The mixes, the beats, the catchy refrains in her songs (i.e., all the musicality within her songs) has nothing to do with her "singing." And again, most of her lyrics border on being unforgivably bad.

Rebecca, stop trying to be Ke$ha. She is nothing to aspire to.

Check-out Artists Lineup 1

I have a list of artists from my semi-recent past (meaning the last 7 years) that I want to recommend, because they really deserve more attention than they get for the amazing music they make. I realize it'd be counterproductive to write individual posts about each of them right now, as I'd tap out too soon. Plus people would likely only read the first one or two posts instead of all 10. So, consolidation wins. I'll probably be doing posts like this pretty frequently.

CHECK THESE PEOPLE OUT!

Two Spot Gobi

A phenomenal group out of Britain, first put on my radar by Jason Mraz, and permanently entrenched there by the fact they are really fun to listen to, comprised of a very talented group of musicians, and above all, super nice.

Ari Hest

Out of Brooklyn, his lyrics are modest and moving, and his smoky sincere voice is simply beautiful. He is also super nice.

Black Carl

The female lead just knocks my socks off every time she sings. Flat out. I cannot attest to how much practicing she does or how much vocal training she has, but her voice gives the impression of being raw talent at its finest. The way she sings makes you believe she came out of the womb sounding like that. So good.

Djavan

The sounds he creates on the guitar always transport me. His sound is very Brazilian bossa jazz folk so it's probably a niche audience, but I love him to absolute pieces.

Paul Dateh

I discovered him by watching The LXD on hulu. He composed the music for episode 10 (I Seen a Man). I heard it, and researched furiously to find out more about him. He managed to distract me from my usual practice of staring, jaw agape, at Chris Scott's dancing. That is saying something. He and Chris Scott made an amazing pairing, but Paul also manages to be a great pairing with just about anyone (for example, I suggest you check out his work with Ken Belcher, and a lesser known duet of him doing I Wish You Love with Esna Yoon). He's multi-faceted and multi-talented, and produces every part of a lot of his own stuff.

Gabe Bondoc

The chord patterns he uses. The guitar arrangements he creates (like his cover of Justin Nozuka's "After Tonight"). Oh, and his voice. You will want him to sing you to sleep every night for the rest of your life.

Jason Yang

Violin + genius = Jason Yang

Todd Carey

So nice. So talented. His music is just fun to listen to. It makes you feel good. You can't help smiling. What more could you want on a lazy Saturday afternoon?

Brendan Green

This singer songwriter has some effortless depth (not bass, so much as brilliance) to the way he sings. I just feel like I have to listen to him, like he's saying something more meaningful than just words set to music. The aura around his voice is just magnetic.

Jason Reeves

Friend of Colbie Caillat, Jason Reeves stands on his own with lyrics and humble honesty in his music. He says things in a way that is poetic enough to make it "art," but simple enough that he can speak to anyone's heart. He says what he means, and in a way that makes you glad you listened in. And I wish the songs "Pretty Eyes" and "You in a Song," were written about me.

The last three I saw on tour together, thus the fact they were listed in such close proximity of one another.

Now go forth and enjoy your musical journeys!

Bernhoft

Don't be embarrassed if you have to go change your soiled panties and/or boxers. This is musicgasming at it's "utmost."

How to make a Janelle Monae

Take one heaping scoop of James Brown's unbridled energy and passion.

Slowly & gently pour in the sultry (yet oh so dignified) sex-cat sound of Sarah Vaughn.

Sprinkle in just the occasional suggestion of John Legend's reticent vocal styling.

The result is the strong and sensuous blend of all good musical things, that is Janelle Monae.

In short, I am a big fan.